So like, back when I was with jane i had this huge pet peeve which at the time i thought was justified. Maybe it was the fact i opened myself up to be hurt by her and really i tried to repress it.
But then I realised something, it was never justified, I just have this problem with people.
I open myself up, and I let the smallest things make me feel depressed and that I'd be better off a loner. 
I'm not going to tell them directly what about them makes me feel so unwanted and uninvited, because really theres no need, they still make me smile, and tbh I'd rather be able to smile and hide stuff than bother the only people who make me happy.
Sigh, I'll just let it slide, there is no real need to say anything.
I just wish I didn't get this hurt when people i consider close do small things.

In this post : Stuff about being sad or something, my class not sucking as much now and randomness.

Zzz Today at flinders i suddenly felt really really depressed, i think i was about to cry, I know why. But like, I really shouldnt be sad about this, I shouldve resolved my problems in terms of this, but... yet... I still do. Maybe cause I need more closure/resolution but y'know I really hate this feeling, knowing that someone selfishly hurt me and never gave me a chance to retaliate. I'm used to bullying, but I'm also used to retaliating (even if it ends up me chickening out, raising my voice to someone whos done something to me is enough) and I never got that chance. She This is fucking gay. I'm confident I'm "over" it, however, I still have this desire to yell and scold someone for the sole reason to even the playing field. Fuck everything.

Today I realised my form isn't so bad, theyre a nice bunch of people, even that asian clique that intimidates me and makes me wish I wasn't in this form aren't that bad, I was just naive and scared I'd die or something. And the white/curry jockish guys are pretty good people too, I don't mind my class anymore, I dont have many friends, but atleast I can get along with these people.

Well, I'm done, once again I used my LJ to vent, doug would call that pathetic, but whatever.

This cheered me up:

So debating started today, we got 2 of the same coaches from last year.
.
...
......
...............
WHAT THE FUCK
they like already hate my team (Joe, Kenny and James' fault though :D... partly me >_>)
Oh well, whatever. It could be worse... Some how :D

The only Arashi song I really like is truth.
But I REALLY REALLY REALLY like this song for some reason.



Sigh almost end of term 1 already...
Soon it'll be exams OSHIT

on shuffle, answer questions everytime i press next, yes im that bored
1.) How am I feeling today?
hachimitsu ~daddy, daddy~ - aqua timez
…sweet?
2.) Where will I get married?
SUMMER DIVE – AnCafe
I don’t get it
3.) What is my best friend's theme song?
Circle of life – crimson fang
… dude wut

4.) What is/was highschool like?
Individual System – Tetra Fang
Kamen Rider Ixa theme.. yay?
5.) What is the best thing about me?
Tears – snsd o_O
Havn’t even heard this song…

6.) How is today going to be?
Gorgeous 4U
o_O
7.) What is in store for this weekend?
STARDUST - NEWS


8.) What song describes my parents?.
Through the fire and flames – dragon force


9.) How is my life going?
I have my youth – Fahrenheit
wut

10.) What song will they play at my funeral?
My Girl (Japanese version)… awesome?

11.) How does the world see me?
Big Bang – Big Bang
shes my roni?

12.) What do my friends really think of me?
We Belong Together(Trance remix) sounds good?


13) Do people secretly lust after me?
Nyappy in the world 4 – AnCafe
I don’t get it


14.) How can I make myself happy?
Carry On – Arashi
Yay an answer that makes sense =D


15.) What should I do with my life?
ordinary – NEWS… sweet?


16.) Will I ever have children?
She can’t get enough – Big Bang… OSHIT


17.) What is some good advice?
Bad Boy – Wondergirls.. k?


18.) What do I think my current theme song is?
A Fool’s only tear – Big Bang


19.) What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Destiny’s play – tetra fang, fair enough.

20.) What type of men/women do you like?:
Hoshi no kakera – Aya Hirano, wut?


21.) Will you get married?:
Circle of life violin re-connection version… I don’t get it


22.) What should I do with my love life?
Ashita no PRISM
tomorrow’s prism?

24.) Where will you live?
No rain, No rainbow – Aqua Timez, k

25.) What will your dying words be?
Happy Birthday – NEWS… TRAGIC D=

This is a pretty old song, but I love it for some reason.


This too

HOFUCK SHE JUST KILLED HIM.
ZOMGZOMGZOMGZOMGZOMG I DIDNT SEE THIS COMING.
I THOUGHT KATSURA-SAN WAS GOING TO KILL HIM WTHWTHWTHWTHWTHWTHWTHWTHWTHWTHWTH
ZOMG.



JUST,ZOMG. THIS ANIME. JUST ZOMG.
I thought katsura was going to go insane but instead sekai does. wth. OMFG KATSURA JUST SAW HIS DEAD BODY.
I sense epic battle between kotonoha and sekai.
Meh, not so epic.

But what the fuck.
This anime went from innocent high school couple to him becoming a selfish perverted bastard groping and screwing everything then his gf at the start going insane then him finding out his 2nd gf is pregnant then getting mauled to death by his 2nd gf cause he prefers his first gf then his first gf kills his 2nd gf, but now his first gf is like living on a yacht with his dead body.

Dude... what. the. fuck did I just watch.

Meh, still awesome anime :D

Yes I watched it all in one sitting >_>

エヂット： I'm like, traumatised.
エヂット：Rewatched the final scenes of the last ep, THATS NOT HIS DEAD BODY, ITS HIS FUCKING DECAPITATED HEAD THAT SHES HOLDING D=

So like, I got bored and was like, what havn't I watched that's on my external, and I've been avoiding that damn hairspray for ages, but I was like uber bored.
So yeah, I watched it, god i hate it.
Oh and I just read on the credits, James Marsters, fucking cyclops, liek the best xmen evar D=.
My god its almost 2am.

Looking back on it friday was pretty enjoyable.
We met Mel's mum who was pretty funny in a mum sorta way, food was good though.
Eventually the group dwindled down to me garrick doug mel thuy and annie (and before that i did something i needed to do)
Pool was lulz, especially when that random birthday group was like, throwing someone in xD. I think we were a bit loud though >_>.

Short, idc I only use this LJ to vent >_>.
Which I also did on pieces of paper during science since I CBS doing work.
I'm sleepy.

NO MATTER WHAT DOUG SAYS ILL DO IT, IMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITIMADOITV

I lol'd

As much as Yarussky makes us work hard he is a pretty good teacher. Sure his tests are harder than every other form's but hey, maybe this will be the push I need to not fail maths >_>

But still, cbs doing maths.

Eric Nguyen and I almost vomited, due to some sick pronage someone was showing us >_>
It was THAT EW.
Not :( anymore =D

:(

That is all.

Just remembered what today used to be.
I lol'd

Edit:
I love shinkenger.

Tried to make things right with Jane, but just made it worse.
*sigh* guess live shall just move on asif nothing happened now.
I can't help but feel a bit guilty with what happened.

To be honest I don't even know what did happen, I kinda lost track half way. But like, I know there were things that I said that weren't needed and I could've simply lied and made things better, but why would I lie to someone, who for just more than 3 months, I wouldnt want to lie too.

But honesty sucks sometimes, things would be easier for others if I just lied and told them what they wanted to hear, but I'm not like that.

This'll be the last time I mention Jane, there's nothing left to salvage, not even a friendship.

I only have 3 megs before I get capped... OH NO D=

Today was pretty fun, a good movie, not one I'd usually watch although, it was epic.
Point of this, today, ends me thinking I'm a mean person, because I know someone who's meaner, however, he's a nice guy so obviously there is no issue here.
Also, I have the worst headache right now, ew T-T.

Well, it's no lie that I changed alot since I went out with Jane, although, it's not like I acted really differently to what I usually do, infact, since the break up, I probs just got a bit more perverted than anything, though I guess that's kinda expected. Aswell as that I got back into AnCafe and alot of my J-Pop again. Aswell as me rewatching Lucky Star and Haruhi again, all in all I'm just realising how little I've really changed since the start of last year, if anything, all that's changed is that im more confident with myself and that I have friends I can depend on, otherwise, it's all pretty much the same.

But you know, at the same time, I'm glad that I'm still myself, and still enjoy the things I enjoyed doing last year.
Tomorrows casual dress day and the day the Mokuani Dantai do a performance at school, wee~! =D.
T29 lunch time.

*sigh* still, last night I discovered something that truly warped my view on life, however I won't let it stop me.
Why? Cause my friends give me the strength i lack... as cheesy and corny as that sounds >_>...
CHOU HENSHIN~!